Monday, August 29, 2011

The Whirling, Swirling Words

I've been a writer all of my life. I wrote my first "story" in the third grade. It was called "Thumper the Boy Frog." I think my Mama still has it packed away somewhere.

Several years back I found out I was a "real" poet of sorts as well.  While I'd written poetry before, you know...teenaged mushy stuff about boyfriends and what not, I always blamed "my muse" for not being able to write all the time.  I'd write here and there when something came to me, but nothing much beyond that. Actually I wrote mostly horror stories. I may post one some day. We'll see...

I became really interested in poetry in the online community I was a part of.  They had what was called "theme poetry."  It was mostly an invitation for all would be, wanna be and actual poets to create pieces of poetry around a common theme and then share them with the community. The theme would change weekly. Sometimes they also added the challenge of writing in a particular style of poetry.  Eventually I became the coordinator of that group resulting in my now having over 180 pages of poems. 

Am I a good poet you might ask?  I dunno. Sometimes I think 'hell yeah!' even though I'm very critical of my writing.  But really what I think doesn't matter, the worth or level of meaning in a poem is definitely in the eyes of the reader I think.  Besides, I fancy myself more of a story teller than a poet.

Being a theme poet did teach me quite a bit though.  I learned about different poetry styles, which was very cool. I learned that writing was NOT dependent upon my muse. I found out, much to my surprise, that I could take a theme and write a poem about it on demand. Sometimes ideas and words would come tumbling out of my head like cornflakes out of a cereal box.  At other times it was like mining for gold, I had to dig a bit to get at the really good nuggets.

When I started this blog I decided to add some of the poems I've written from time to time. They're always up for interpretation, and as always, comments are welcome.

I seem to write a lot about love, relationships and the like.  Many of my poems are completely ripped from my imagination.  Others were written in my blood, images carved out of my own joys and sorrows. Either way, I hope you will be entertained.  And while I'm at it, let me officially thank you for being here reading my little blog.  Out of all the hundreds of thousands of blogs out there, you are here, reading mine. I'm honored, flattered and I truly appreciate your presence. 

Now on to my whirling, swirling words.  I hope you enjoy reading them.

NOTE: In most cases, the title of the poem reflects what the weekly theme was at that time.

 Epitaph Explained
When I’m dead…
What will become of all my poetry?
Will it be used to immortalize me?
Will you remember me when it you read?
Will you see all of the wild and wonderful things I’ve seen?

The reality is that in spite of, or despite me
when I’m dead,
my poetry

© TDM 06/22/08

Mirror, mirror on the wall
who is the most helpless of them all?
Is it the boy with a grown man’s face,
the little child standing
in a grown man’s place?

Made me the object of your desire
didn’t look before you leaped
into the fire.
Now you’re feeling all confused
the game is played out,
now who is feeling used?

Asked for honesty and
damn you panicked,
had you shuffling and stuttering
like a tweaked out
crack addict.

So I ask you-
helplessness what does it really mean?
to be tossed and manipulated
by nebulous forces unseen?
to be slayed and laid terminally low
dragging a wounded heart
perpetually in tow?

You were the one caught up in wrong doing
I was just listening
being tried and tested yet true..
so tell me boy,
what wrong did I do to you?

Now I sit here-
cigarette smoke curling around my face
shaking my head
too late to pick up the pace.

Does helplessness have any other name?
does it hide behind the masks
of grief
or embarrassment
or shame?

I want somebody who is
in it to stay,
not a man-boy changing his mind
every other day
letting his man meat pull him into the fray
born out of cheap, late night talk
and all too irresistible forays.

So if I risked my heart
and gave up some of my ability
to reason,
in light of your transgressions
who is really guilty
of emotional treason?

I’m about to bounce
without a trace
leave you standing
with much deserved egg on your face
but it isn't me
who is the disgrace
or settled for less-
it’s you.

And you can act like you don’t care
but honey pleez, I’m already there.
Yeah you can act like that
if you want to
but as Celie said to Mister-
“everything done to me,
already done to you…”

You’ll have to face Karma...
she’ll want blood
nothing less,
and that my dear, is the essence and form
of true helplessness.
Mirror, mirror on the wall
who is the most helpless of them 
© TDM 01/03/06

Style Challenge-Shape Poetry= Shape Poetry is also called Concrete Poetry
"Shape is one of the main things that separates prose and poetry. Poetry can take on many formats, but one of the most inventive forms is for the poem to take on the shape of its subject. So if the subject of your poem is a tree, then the poem's lines would be written so that the poem appears to take on the shape of a tree."
(note-read left to right, and yes it was as hard to write as it looks!)

© TDM 4/4/2006

(for my loving daughter-RM)

I’m not the woman
I thought I’d be,
but I like who I am
most days.

Granted, I’m a little crazy
in the head,
but I’d like to think I have
some good ways.

Time has sometimes
been a friend to me,
sometimes she had me
all mixed up.

The wine she served
was sometimes sweet,
at other times I wanted
to pass the cup.

Like blood oozing through snow
or black cherries ripening
on a grey green vine,
we all savor, yet resist
the passage of our own precious time.

I am no exception
with my dreams and my daughter in tow.
After I’ve walked the way I’m going,
I hope and pray I’ve shown her
the right way to go.

Because isn’t that really what time
and life is all about;
to live, to learn, passing on what we know
without too many regrets, or doubts?

No, I’m not the woman I envisioned I’d be-
I’m a tad crazy, by now a little worn.
Yet even as I mourn the passing of some of my dreams,
I joyfully shout and celebrate hers being born.

So when my time is truly over,
I can go in peace because I know
my sweet daughter will be the grand harvest
of all the faith, hope and love seeds
I’ve sown.

© TDM 5/6/2006

Well that's all for now. Once I get to posting poems, it's hard to know which ones to pick, or where to stop. There are so many I like. So yes, there will be more posted in the future. Stay tuned.

MistralWind whirling and swirling thru till next time...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Gale Winds- Adult Content!

Several online resources describe a gale wind as- "a very strong wind," although there is debate regarding just how strong "very strong" really is.  In January 2006 I had heard from, and read about, so many folks struggling with lost love, unrequited love, jacked up love, elusive love, psycho love, etc. that I felt compelled to pen and post this next piece on the internet community I was a member of at the time.

Back then I called it my "Friday Nite Rant."  Today I call it a Gale Wind.  Just how strong it really is I suppose, depends upon who is reading it and where they feel they fit into the fray. The wild thing is, here we are five years later and I'm STILL hearing and reading about folks struggling with the very same thing!  Is this the way of  our current generation, society and culture?  Or is this just the way it is?  I've edited this some, but not much.  Rant or Wind, it still blows the same... 

A Gale Wind- Rant Redux 2011  

"Maybe it's this movie I just watched...maybe it's the stuff I've read, seen and heard over the past several months. But it occurs to me more and more that you have a lot (I didn't say ALL or even many....but a lot) of folks out here, men AND women that wouldn't know a so called "good" man or woman if that person came up to them with a lit firecracker, put it in the crack of their ass, and applauded with pom poms when it went off!
You've got some walking wounded jokers perpetrating, ragging on other folks, when they have no idea what they need or even want in a casual friend, let alone a significant other!

They expect the worst and by golly, they get it! They've had conflicted and tormented relationships with mothers, fathers, ex's, and Lord every new person they meet has to pay for it!

And please don't use the word commitment with them, blood freezes up in their veins like ice water. Please don't do or say anything they don't like cause they'll pick up their toys quicker than shit and be on their merry way.

They never give unless they are getting first and they're still liable to not give even then.

You've got women wanting someone to pay their bills and get their hair and nails done, but might screw your buddy on the low low.

You've got men telling wide eyed women.."baby you're my this and my that," yet they're telling 3 other chicks the same damned things at the same damned time!

How are you gonna have a laundry list of shit you want in a relationship, yet you aren't willing to do half that shit your damned self??

Talking about communication is important, yet you don't talk.

Talking about monogamy is key, yet you might screw if the offer is attractive enough, or you ain't got shit else to do.

If someone says something shady about your man or your woman, why wouldn't you go directly to them and talk it out? Did it ever occur to you that the messenger might want you and that's why they're trying to throw a spoke all up in your wheels??

How is your man or woman gonna be honest with you about something you're doing (or not doing) and then you get mad and don't talk to them anymore??? Da hell?? Is your pride that fierce, or your ego that much of a monster??

How are you gonna be with someone for a few years and then holler you don't feel "attractive" anymore, but the attention you get from the the thirsty dudes, or the hungry chicks at the club or bar make you feel better about yourself?? [insert eyeroll gif] C'Mon SON or SISTER, you know that confidence and self appreciation comes from within!

How are you gonna tell someone you want to work it out, yet you run at the first sign of trouble? Love, caring, strong like, whatever you want to call it, is supposed to be the glue that gives you the motivation and ability to work through conflict. If you keep running from conflict, you'll always be running scared.

There will always be conflict in a relationship, hell in life period. If you can't handle it, don't be telling somebody you want a relationship, cause guess what....

I've seen so many men and women hurting lately- friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, online and in real time. Some from wanting love, some from being afraid of it. Some from getting burned by love, some just fucking sick and tired of the madness associated with it.

But the end result is the got some fucked up in the head mofos walking around selling wolf tickets to the elusive good man or woman, getting involved with them and then ruining them for the next truly good man or woman they happen to meet!!

I've seen some beautiful women exercising patience and loving kindness dealing with men that are trifling, rude and insensitive. My prayer for them is that they recognize the game and get on before they get shit on.

What did somebody say the other day....if someone tells you who they are, believe them. More importantly if they keep SHOWING you with actions, believe that cause actions speak louder than words any day of the week.

I've seen some good hearted men taken to the cleaners both materially and emotionally by some strumpet (yeah an old term, but it applies!) that demands the world, but wouldn't give up a piece of old chewing gum from the bottom of her fake azz purse. My prayer for them is to recognize that good women are all around them. They might not have a "banging ass" or "big tits," but they are loving, loyal and will stand behind you when you need them to, not just when it's convenient or all about them.

I respect and love my sisters and brothers, God knows I do.. but the shit we do to each other on the regular is spirit draining, patience wearing, and as someone said to me once...overly frustrating, to see, hear about and especially, experience.

Slow your roll, go to counseling, talk to a good friend, pray, consult your pastor, write in a whatever you need to do to figure out why you want that good relationship, but just can't seem to find, or have it. Or if you get it, why you keep mucking it up.

Or if you are "the fucker," why are you fucking with folks?? Find you somebody that's a fucker too, then ya'll will have it made in the shade. No harm, no foul.

Recognize a red flag for what it is....
a red flag. Run Forrest Run if you can't seem to get that shit to turn back white.

And before somebody asks, naw I'm not mad at anybody, lol! Just the sass in me, speaking my mind on something I hate to see- the demise of real relationships and the ruination of those beautiful guys and gals still trying to believe in magic, love and togetherness, yet getting their hands slapped and their asses kicked when they try to give the trifling assholes of this world a chance.

If you're fucking up, STOP.
If you're allowing someone to fuck you over, STOP.

Ya'll be kind to each other, if you've got someone you care about, tell 'em dammit! Ain't nothin' promised to ya."

Peace and by all means, if you have a comment feel free, I'd love to hear it.

MistralWind blowing thru till next time...